February: The Conversation is about Romance & Black History Month

It might have been easier to finish this review before I got immersed in the romantic fantasy of Paulo Coelho’s Brida for the past few days. Don Coelho is a masterful storyteller and his particular cadence is just irresistible. Irresistible and perfect for the season of hearts, flowers, romance, and relationships. Yes, it’s February, and that means Valentine’s Day.


February also commemorates the many achievements and contributions of Black people to civilization. Here, in America, Black History Month is an important time of remembrance for the many remarkable individuals who defied great adversity to make possible many of the privileges we now enjoy. As the familiar, sometimes surprising identities are called out for recognition, Black History Month evokes the memory of a passionate, electrified time for Blacks in America.

One of the most powerful images from African-American history is that of the Black family: strong, proud, protective, and nurturing. Remarkably, until recently as we got to know, and now have in view, the special family now residing in the nation’s capital, the First Family, that image of the African-American family was fast becoming a nostalgic one. So with romance, and a very present image of historic coupling in mind, we now extend our focus on people that matter into the substance that bonds and keeps us together: relationships. Let the conversation begin.

In his newest book--The Conversation: How Black Men and Women can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships, author/actor Hill Harper engages an ambitious and noble vision, not only looking to form quality couple relationships, but to create a sense of togetherness, to build community. Drawing on a waning era of connectedness and empowerment in Black families and the Black community, Hill envisions a renaissance of Black marriages: to stand arm in arm with one’s mate with our arms around our children and say to adversity, “here is where we stand, bring what you've got, we can deal…” The Conversation also chronicles Hill’s own motivations in meeting and forming a relationship with an attractive, intelligent Black woman who is a single mother while discovering what relationship, love, endurance, and commitment means for the Black community.

To illustrate his vision, Hill prefaces some of the chapters in The Conversation with a quote from noteworthy couples of past and present. With Valentine’s Day just 5 days away it seems fitting to present these visions of love and happiness with highlights from the book.

  
I never worry about things I can’t affect and with fidelity…that is between Barack and me, and if somebody can come between us, we didn’t have much to begin with.

~First Lady Michelle Obama, married to President Barack Obama since 1992

Well, the truth about life is that we’re all alone, but when somebody loves you, right, that experience is shared. Love is the only real connective tissue that allows you to not live and die by yourself. It gives you purpose beyond you.

~Will Smith, married to Jada Pinkett Smith since 1997.

The biggest challenge would be communication. You just have to be able to compromise with your wife as far as I’m concerned. If she has a deep desire to do something, you may want to give in to that. My motto is, “Happy wife, happy life.”

~Rev. Run, married to Justine Jones since 1994.

  


…We respect each other. If I have any suggestions, he respects them. If he has any suggestions, I respect them. It’s just…easy. And fun.


~Beyonce, married to Jay-Z in 2008.

  
Wise commitments do not bind us; they free us. …To the spiritually mature, commitment is the equivalent of freedom because it bestows authentic happiness that cannot be taken away.


~Rev. Michael Beckwith, married to Rickie Byars Beckwith since 2000

Love seeks to satisfy others at the expense of self. Lust seeks to satisfy self at the expense of others.


~Pastor A. R. Bernard, married to Karen Bernard since 1978.


I hope these lovely couples will encourage and inspire the relationship of your dreams. Wherever you are in your romantic relationship make this Valentine’s Day a moment to choose the commitment of Robin and Don Watkins, that special couple in The Conversation, and Hill‘s. Make up your mind to “stick it out.” And even though you may choose to be a party of one this Valentine’s Day, do it mindfully. Create a special way to celebrate the most important relationship you can nurture…the relationship with yourself and God of your heart. In this way you will attract your highest and best life partner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The subject tonight is Love

and for tomorrow night as well.

As a matter of fact

I know of no better topic

to discuss...

~Hafiz

  Happy Valentine’s Day 

Photo Credits:
1. Michelle & Barack Obama: blogs.smarter.com
2. Jada & Will Smith: Naiaonline
3. Rev. Run & Justine Jones: Blogger
4. Beyonce & JayZ:People
5. Rickie Byars & Michael Beckwith:Examiner
6  Karen & A. R. Bernard: Black Christian News