People That Matter: Mentors

Today observes acknowledgement for a special group of people.1 Some of these very special people are marked by a character of indirectly shaping others’ lives simply by who they are--the way they show up in the world. Others are marked by a character of directly impacting others by what they are about--they make it a conscious mission to give back. For the former group, they naturally gravitate the people they affect, and may not even be aware of the gift they are sharing unless someone says thank you. The latter group as well gravitate those who benefit from their being, but go further to seek out and help those they can improve by their compassion. They come from every walk of life, and often seem to be in just the right place at the right time to make a difference in someone’s life. They are your everyday heroes in the sentiment of Dr. Zimbardo’s view,2 they seek no glory, but their lives, and ours, are enriched because they ARE. This group of people for whom this day marks worthy recognition, they are Mentors.

Mentors are distinguished from role models in that they play an active, specific role in guiding and directing the course of a life or career. They take an interest in some aspect of a person’s life, work to find resolution, and stay the course as a touchstone of support. Many people influence our lives, but a mentor is one who remains when it counts. In seconds or 24 hours the moment to say thank you and acknowledge how someone made a difference in your life is a remarkable gift.

Acknowledgement is not an easy thing to do for fear and risk of not having adequate consideration for all the people that matter to us, or to whom we’ve mattered. Just look back on any awards show and see how awardees struggle to name their key influencers and supporters in a brief amount of time, under a spotlight for all to see, in a peak moment of elation in their career. I try do it often, sometimes awkwardly, because looking back and looking now, I know how fortunate I’ve been to have gained something meaningful to my improvement and well-being. No one is perfect, but we would hope to be remembered for the good we did, the things we shared, and how we transcended human foibles.

In the spirit of gratitude and thanks these are some of the people I mattered to, and have mattered to me:

• Theresa Hall - chaperone and debutante training that inspired confidence and self-esteem.
• Reverend Theophilus Joseph - you sowed the seeds of spirituality and they continue to flourish.
• Marie Fricot (my grandmother) - for setting my internal guidance system--faith, spirituality, family, community, health, education, compassion, service.
• Charles Rawlins, CPA - who initiated me into comprehensive, full cycle accounting services. Your supervision enabled me to develop professional instincts and entrepreneurial passion.
• Martin Nicholson - who took notice of my work in administrative assistance and guest services in the resort industry, while in college, and steered me into the management training program upon graduating. Hurricane Hugo was an unexpected game changer.
• Celine Joseph (my mother) - personal responsibility, work ethics, and unflagging dedication.

Sometimes mentors can reach beyond space and time. Their wisdom showed up right on time to help me evolve:

• Irvin Yalom - when I had no clue what to do in clinical training as a therapist, your books: Letters to Young Therapists and Their Clients, Group Counseling, and Lying on the Couch gave me the tools and confidence to help and do no harm.
• Tich Naht Hahn - reconciling Christ and Buddha, religion and spirituality
• Paramahansa Yogananda - revealing the secrets of the path of self-realization.
• Deepak Chopra - sharing the tools for balancing health, life, and self-realization.
• Wayne Dyer - for outlining the principles of effective living.
• Jesus - a ‘rich man’ with many good things to share without regard to status or creed.

It’s your turn now. Take time this week to acknowledge and thank your mentors.3 It matters.


 1. January is National Mentoring Month
2. The Psychology of Heroism
3. Who Mentored You